The list

We're trying something different this year with a friend's to-do list where we can all hold each other accountable - for the lack of a better word - on resolutions or things we want to achieve and experience together.

Below is the list, written in my new Moleskine (always wanted one).

Excuse the my writing

For those that cannot see the image:

• More outdoorsy things like adventures / hikes - so getting our asses outside more
• Baby vacations once per quarter - Getting out of town more often on mini breaks
• More personalised dinners at home - instead of eating out, rushing and on budget, we will eat at home and have quality nights
• Less lunches, more brunches - We found the breakfast / brunches totally chilled us and gave more time in the day
• More going out - self explanatory
• If you're having a bad day, pick up the phone
• More Cape Town events
• Road Trip - depending on our personal holidays
• Volunteer work 
• Take up a new hobby - photography, golf or mountain biking as examples
• Book club
• Take a risk - getting over a fear or doing something brave
• More Jewish events - I worded that point weirdly but attend more events and make an effort
• Be less judgemental

If you made some plans, put some ideas on paper or want to let me know what you think, holler below :)

Lived to tell it all

The great thing this week will be bringing, is more happiness and smiles to everyone around me, including me. Yes, it's wedding season and after counting about 7 bachelorettes dancing the night away at Tiger Tiger on Saturday night's not-so-debaucherous-as-I-thought party, we are on the way to a great upcoming wedding weekend. (Did that make any sense?)

After a month or two of planning, we were able to see whether all this hard work (majority my friends) really pays off. We pitched up at Dr Yoni's house to prepare the food and set up all the decorations. Our dear inquisitive friend was starting to sneak her head around the corner or out the window, where we were hanging up the giant penis piñata. But after I threatened to come upstairs and break her new pair of Pradas in half if she peered one more time, she didn't make another peep.

Piñata hung - excuse the pun - and sweets and decor looking superb, we bought her downstairs to the celebrations. First up was the surprise guest and no, not a stripper. All those bits flying around didn't sound like a good idea, so instead we hired a bellydancer. She arrived, dressed our bride-to-be and along with the 2 dances she did as an intro, she taught all the guests bellydancing basics for 45 minutes. Tons of laughter, booty shaking and abdominal exercises later, we sat down to the next part... supper then questions.

Last Monday, we interogated Steve with about 20 questions about him and Dr Yoni. Obviously we filmed this and then set it up to film her answers. Turns out these 2 people actually know each other. Can you believe it. In all honesty, the video was tons of fun to prepare, interview and watch again after some amateur editing done by Fat Pam.

Our last victim was a piñata that was hanging outside filled with sweets and accessories Dr Yoni had to dress up with for the night out. Two minutes later there was absolutely nothing left of the pinata and all the sweets on the ground the girls swiftly helped clean up and dispose of.

Toiger Toiger bound we were and 5 hours later after dancing on every part of that dancefloor to the speakers to hanging out - what felt like the entire time - at the shooter bar, we left and head back for toasted sarmies and cheese cake at 04:00.

What our Dr Yoni appreciated? She didn't throw her name away and she will remember her bachelorette party, which for her was the best outcome of the night. And... well the little whisper to me while we were sitting at the table eating our cheesecake: "You know what Robs, I'm very very lucky to have Steve" put a big smile on my face

Lyrics: Oh Darling - Happiness

This girl I know needs some shelter

We are nearing the end of a year that has flown past fast. Lightning fast. I don't know about you but over the next 3 weeks, it's going to be mad busy as work finally slows down into the holidays. Anyway...

There's no I in Team?

Planning our friend's hen's party has been quite interesting and I totally underestimated the work that is involved. Thankfully, my friends have taken the responsibility of organising the party and wonderful experience as I'm - admitting this on my blog - not able to properly focus on anyone else other then myself now. It sounds horribly selfish but for the past couple of months, I've been feeling what some might term: a crisis of faith. I'm not talking about the religious aspect but rather going through a period of doubt or questioning parts of my life. 

I'm finding it weird that the more I open up to people and gauge their reactions, the more I seem to doubt my decisions throughout the year. Maybe I'm hypersensitive at the moment but I feel like every corner has the doubt monster waiting to jump out and add more bricks to my wall. I made the decision at the end of last year to return to my family and friends after living it up in London with a fantastic bunch of people who were in the same space and there are definitely no regrets in returning home and I'm happy enough to make that statement. 

Validation may be the word I'm looking for. Maybe it's not? I've never needed validation to make myself feel good about my work and achievements. I tend to look at my past as pat on the back to what someone can do with obstacles put in ones way and then focusing on a goal and going for it. A 16-year-old girl lasting at Sea Rescue? Never would say the naysayers but 10 years later I'm 1 test and 5 tasks away from becoming the first female rescue coxswain at my station. Of course there has definitely been doubt along the way and there still will be doubt when I get my ticket but over time and through my actions, I'll definitely either prove and hopefully get rid of people's preconceived opinions of me

Which brings me to my 'work'. I'm not the person to aim for that nice little thank you amount, in the form of a bonus but would rather let my work speak for itself. Is this right? Should I be more vocal? Maybe I've got it all wrong this past year because I am doubting everything I've done. "Wait. Have I done this? Of course I did" happens at least once a week. A simple 'good job' is not something I crave for but maybe every few months an acknowledgment would be nice is what creeps up now and again. 

It's even odder that there is this need to validation when my life is revolved around as many people as possible, working as a team, being the last person to be noticed to the first person everyone looks to when the shit hits the fan. Is this silent leadership? I don't care what it is really but that lingering feeling of doubt is causing havoc in the Robyn warehouse up top. 

Something isn't kosher right now and I'm trying to find the source, which is taking a little longer then I expected. But I'm amazingly blessed and lucky to be surrounded by fantastic friends - who've gone through enough shit to make my rubbish look like a walk in the park - which have taken up my slack in the planning something as trivial as a hen's party. 

So here's hoping that my mini-break in a few weeks will shine the light where it's a little foggy right now. 

Note: This post is, as it is. 

Saying goodbye

If you've been following what I've been mumbling about throughout the year, you will have noticed my family and I have been hit by a lot of deaths this year.


My lifelong best friends have been on the receiving end over the last few years and at the beginning of the year, we lost another dad in our group of 5 to brain cancer.

The consecration aka unveiling of the tombstone was held at the Jewish Cemetery in Pinelands yesterday in the rain - call it pathetic fallacy - as family and friends said a final goodbye to a fantastic teacher and father.

There are no more words that I can fill this post with, so all I really have to say is I'm ready to see this year end, take a holiday and reflect. It's been filled with fantastic times but also taken far too many family and friends and I think we all are looking forward to a new year and fresh start.